Husbands leading with love

I have been battling a cold for the last several days and therefore my goal to blog daily has been been disrupted, but I thought I would try to get back on track a little bit today and catch up on at least a day or two of blogging themes. So here is my weekly on marriage and the family.

I am continuing to be challenged by a book Love that Lasts by Gary and Besty Riucci. After establishing the need for the gospel in a marriage, Gary deals with the role of husbands leading with love. He reminds us men to love our wives graciously and sacrificially. Sacrifice means more than just providing for her; it means making sure that she never has to sacrifice before or more than we do. He lists these thought-provoking questions to query ourselves.

• Is there some way I can give myself to serve my wife?
• Where do I see selfishness in my life that hinders unreserved love for my wife?
• Am I withholding something of myself that would bless my wife – my attention, affection, or creativity?
  
• What is God calling me to give up because it diverts my attention and affection from my wife?
  

God's Word also teaches that we must love our wives redemptively, remembering our model is Christ's love for His church. Therefore every husband might ask himself these questions:

• Do I faithfully pray for her, that Jesus Christ might be glorified in her and that she might know his love and grace?
• Do I love her enough to confront and correct her sin, especially recurrent patterns of sin, and then patiently and consistently lead her into fruitful and liberating repentance?
• Do I wash her with the water of God’s Word (Ephesians 5:25-27), or do I compromise her growth in godliness because my pride, selfishness, or fear keeps me from this God-given responsibility?
• Do I lead her into active involvement and service in our local church?
• Do I consistently remind her of the gospel of grace and of god’s active goodness on our behalf?

In addition, over in 1 Peter 3, God's Word teaches us to love our wives with understanding and with honor.

To really love our wives like this leads us to what Ricucci calls "desperate dependence" which explains by writing,

Desperate is exactly where God wants us. Far from being a desperation devoid of hope, it is a self-despair that acknowledges absolutely no inherent adequacy, sufficiency, or competency for the task. It is a desperation that turns the eyes of faith toward the God of grace. There, and there alone do we discover complete and perfect adequacy, sufficiency, and competence (2 Corinthians 1:20)

It comes down to this: we can love and lead our wives because, and only because, Christ first loved us (Galatians 2:20). Our role originates in the gospel, is empowered by the gospel, and is perfected through the gospel. We can love and lead our wives because our Savior, Jesus Christ, loved us, gave himself up for us, and leads us each day in mercy and grace.

If such a standard leaves you feeling defeated, take Gary's advice and remember that the most important question isn't "How badly have I failed?" but rather with all God's limitless grace at my disposal, "What can I do today to trust, obey, and glorify Christ in my marriage by loving, serving, and leading my wife?"