You and your anger!

The Bible assures you that if you know Jesus Christ as your Savior, you can overcome anger. That is the good news of the gospel.

Often people say, "But I just can't overcome or control my anger." But what they really mean is "I won't overcome it or I don't want to overcome my anger."

You can control your temper when you really want to, when you are highly motivated to do so, and when you make a strong effort. You are able to keep your anger within at critical times in your life when you do not want others to think ill of you. We learn to respond angrily in the presence of family members, even though we have learned to not get angry in front of others.

One of the best deterrents to anger is how we think! As a man thinks in his heart, so is he.

Think about how anger damages your relationship to your spouse, your children, and God! Anger damages your relationship to your wife, husband, and to God. Here is an article that will help you do just that.

In the Bible there are three kinds of anger: God's righteous anger, human righteous anger, and human unrighteous anger. Anger, like every other emotion that God has given us, is a proper and useful emotion when it is expressed in a manner that is consistent with the principles of Scripture and used for the purposes that God set forth in His Word.

Robert Jones in Uprooting Anger points out that righteous anger must meet three criteria: 1) it reacts against actual sin 2) it focuses on God and His Kingdom, rights, concerns, not on me, my kingdom, rights, and concerns and 3) it is accompanied by other godly qualities and expresses itself in godly ways . (Ephesians 4:26-27)

Uncontrolled anger is never acceptable. It is always sin. We express uncontrolled anger by blowing up. The Bible says to put such wrath, anger, and rage away from us. (Ephesians 4:31).

The opposite of blowing up is clamming up. This is what we call bitterness and this to is to unacceptable to God (Ephesians 4:31). The answer to loss of control of temper is not resentment.

Both ways of expressing anger (clamming up or blowing up) do not solve problems and they displease God. They grieve His Spirit (Ephesians 4:30). Such anger only creates new problems, it never solves the current problems biblically.

Jay Adams has written that anger is a powerful, motivating force that is intended to destroy, something. It must be used to destroy the problem, not the person. Clamming up destroys the angered person. Blowing up destroys others.

So, what do we do? We aim our energies at solving problems God's way, not our way.

You will never defeat anger on your own. First, you must become a subject of a new kingdom by repenting of your sin of rebellion against God and unbelief in His Word and "Kiss the Son, lest He be angry (Psalm 2:12). You must trust the Lord Jesus Christ! The only people who can control anger are those who have Christ and are yielded to His Spirit.

Are you ready for eternity? Are you ready to meet God? Do you think he will just excuse your anger and your sin? Click here if you want to find out what God has to say about your eternal destiny.

If you are trusting Christ and are serious about overcoming anger in your life, David Powlison of the Christian Counseling and Education Foundation has developed this helpful worksheet for you to help you analyze anger in your life and put this sin to death! Use this worksheet the next time you get angry. You will find it helpful in living out the reality of Romans 6:13, "Do not present your members to sin as instruments for unrighteousness, but present yourselves to God as those who have been brought from death to life, and your members to God as instruments for righteousness."

1. Ponder the following passage from Ephesians.

“Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification according to the need of the moment, so that it will give grace to those who hear. Do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you. Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children; and walk in love, just as Christ also loved you and gave Himself up for us, an offering and a sacrifice to God as a fragrant aroma” (Ephesians 4:29-5:2).

Read it over 3-4 times. Take it slowly. Emphasize different sentences, phrases, words. Where do you tend to misfire in this area? Notice how God boxes us in: you can’t “keep to yourself” (bitterness), or “go to the other person” (wrath and anger), or “go to other people” (clamor and slander)! We are driven to deal with our attitudes before God, and then deal constructively and mercifully with others. Notice how persistently Paul puts specifics about the Lord into the picture. He knows we need strong and sweet-tasting medicine in order to deal with anger. What most strikes you about this passage?

2. Now work through our six questions.

Situation: What circumstances trigger your anger or complaining? What pushes your buttons?

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Reaction: How do you express anger (thoughts, emotions, actions)?

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Motive: What are your “buttons”?
I want _____________________.
I must have____________________.
At all costs, I don’t want _______________ and must avoid it.

Message: What specific things does God reveal about Himself (right in this passage), that bid to do battle with your angry reactions?

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You might also start to fan out into the surrounding sentences in Ephesians.

Turn: Bring the real you in your real world to this Savior and Father. Have a conversation about what matters. Talk to God about these things. It is a huge step to verbalize out loud that our “buttons” (idols, cravings) are core sins, and to verbalize that we need the very mercies that are held out as our example. Christ is not a “model” that we watch from afar and then seek to emulate. Rather, he actually treats us with mercy, so we experience his mercy. By doing mercy to us, he teaches us up close and personal to show mercy to others.

Respond: What are you now called to do (and to not do)? What specific actions express how faith-working-through-love replaces craving-working-through-anger? What can and must you do right now that is merciful? Or when you get back home later today?

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3. Worship is the opposite of anger & grumbling.
What “consolations to delight your soul” do the hymns, ("Jesus, what a friend for sinners" & "How firm a foundation") offer, give, proclaim, embrace, hope in, delight in?