Should a lover of Christ marry an unbeliever?

Should a lover of Jesus Christ marry an unbeliever? How do we know the answer to that? What if a person becomes a Christian after marriage to an unbeliever?

The book of 2 Chronicles as well as Ezra teach that part of the repentant life of faith is not marrying an unbeliever, who in biblical terms is also called an idolater. Here is why: If you marry an unbeliever he or she will divide your heart.

Much of the idolatry in Israel came from marrying spouses who loved idolatry. King Jehoram, for example, marries a daughter of Ahab, a wicked king and she influenced his heart for ill: "And he walked in the way of the kings of Israel, as the house of Ahab had done, for the daughter of Ahab was his wife. And he did what was evil in the sight of the Lord." (21:6, all references from 2 Chronicles unless specified). King Jehoshaphat, a good king, marries one of the Ahab's relatives as well (18:1). During the reign of Asa, a pretty good king, he had to depose his grandmother Maacah as queen because she was leading the people into sin (15:16). Who was Maacah? She was the wife of King Rehoboam, the son of Solomon. And Rehoboam himself, the chronicler tells us, is the offspring of the union between Solomon and one of his Ammonite wives (12:13). All this goes back to King Solomon who intermarried with foreign wives who turned his heart from God.

What is the lesson? Marrying someone who is not fully allied with God will always yield grief and often times result in great evil.

For those returning to Jerusalem the message couldn't have been clearer: “Don't intermarry with the other nations! Intermarriage leads to disaster!” God had warned the people of Israel of this all the way back in Deuteronomy 7:3 and they did not listen and it lead to their downfall the first time.

Now, we aren't trying to set up a nation like Israel, but God is very clear that a marriage of a believer to an unbeliever is not His will (1 Corinthians 7:39; 2 Corinthians 6:14). Why? Well, how attractive can you, who are supremely attracted to Jesus Christ as a believer, find someone who is not? How attractive can that person really be? Now, if you came to be supremely attractive to Jesus Christ after you were married, then God can give you wonderful sustaining grace to keep you in that marriage. That is His will in that case.

But if you are single and free and are biblically able to marry, then the Bible tells you to seek a spouse who loves the Lord as much if not more than you do! He or she will help you and influence you as God intends. If you, a believer, marry an unbeliever, then you will not have exclusive allegiance to Jesus Christ and you will not display the character of God as clearly as you can.